I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
