So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
