so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
