You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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