This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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