I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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