just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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