I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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