I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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