Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
