all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
