All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize