i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
