My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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