i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
