You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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