Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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