my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize