Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
