even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
