Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
