Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
