She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
