Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
