that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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