I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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