she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
