I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
