Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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