I'm going to jail i love you
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
