he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
