weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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