every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
