Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
