If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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