woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
