trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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