So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
