Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
