Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
