What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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