i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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