My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My vagina is officially offended.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
wow bdsm is so cute
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