I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
