I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
