Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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