Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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