her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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