I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
