Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
