My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
