i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm like, not good at living.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
