oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
