I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't deserve a penis
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
