I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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