if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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