We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize