Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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