Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
dude. I can hear the air.
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