And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
