you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
