I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
