and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
