dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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