You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
