how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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