Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
